On Penetration and Being Penetrated

Ultimately, life is one perpetual experience of penetration or being penetrated. It is the way of creation. Of universal love making.

And no, this does not only apply to the physical act of sex.

We penetrate people with out thoughts, our ideas, our perspectives, our attention, our curiosity, our desire, our agendas, our love, our truth, our emotions, our power...

...and through all of these things, when we are connected to our bodies, to our hearts, to divinity, and to the earth, we can birth a new paradigm of humanity into existence.

This is the way of nature.

Nature does not take from a place of domination or control. Nature gives and receives from a place of reciprocal altruism.

The bee takes from the flower, and in-do-doing, provides the necessary pollination for the flower to thrive.

Nature knows that there is no difference between giving and receiving, because nature knows that at its core, EVERYTHING is connected, and to steal from another is to steal from one's self.

Humanity has taken on a temporary amnesia, and forgotten that we are all connected--not only to each other--but to the divine source energy that embodies us all with an infinite supply of resources and love.

We see this playing out in the trauma of violation in sex. 

We see this playing out in men feeling privileged to women's bodies without their consent.

We see this playing out in women dissociating from their bodies at the point of penetration because of lifetimes of trauma of being told and shown that their body is not their own.

We see in the dependency upon manipulation tactics to control others actions and affections for fear that something that is ours can be taken from us.

We see this in the atrocity of sex trafficking and satanic ritual abuse that is happening right now, in every second, as a write.

No wonder there is such challenge in finding resolution and right relationship with ourselves as penetrators and penetratees--right now in this world, we are being impacted by the energetic truth that violation on a soul, spirit, physical level is happening RIGHT now.

We are all connected, and the pain of one is the pain of all, it's just that we have become so numbed, dumbed, and desensitized by the conditioning of a dominator entity seeking to control and suppress our unified power as a collective, that we cannot FEEL what is happening.

This is a radical call to resensitize our bodies to the truth that resides within our heart and in the earth.

This is a radical call to claim your embodiment, and to bring conscious connection, clarity, and compassion or every act of penetration.

In every moment, in every conversation, in every exchange of attention, love, desire, power, and yes, genital based union, we have the opportunity to dismantle a culture of disconnection and disassociation. 

In every moment, in every relationship, we have the opportunity to opt into a paradigm of existence based upon natural law, upon reciprocal altruism, of honoring every human being as kin, as opposed to seeing them as a whole to fill or be filled by.

Pedestalization of the sacred, without embodiment of the profane, is a one way train to perpetuating and recreating every atrocity we judge with vehement scorn.

We are Trump. We are Hitler. We are Bin Laden. We are the Devil.

We are *everything* we seek to judge in another.

So I invite you, to reclaim the energy that seeks to drain you through hating that which is designed to fill you with hate, and instead redirect that energy towards bringing devotional presence to the way you express yourself and receive another's expression in the world--in whatever and every form that takes.

This is an invitation to remember, that heaven does exist on earth right now, if we are willing to embody and BE it.

Image Credit: https://pin.it/gjoyxm5f7c4qzt

The "Too Much" Woman

Dear Woman,
You are too much.

Too much for a system built on keeping you caged.

Dear Woman,
You are too sensitive. 

Too sensitive for a system that cannot allow
for the freedom and connection that occurs 
through emotional vulnerability.

Dear Woman,
You are too powerful.

Too powerful for a system built to 
commoditize your insecurity.

Dear Woman,
You are too loud.

Too loud for a system desperate to 
keep you quiet so the wisdom of 
ancient feminine mysteries does not resurface.

Dear Woman,
You are too, fat.

To big for a system that who wants you 
to associate your desirability with 
your ability to keep yourself small.

Dear Woman,
You are too crazy.

Too crazy for a system that drugs and desensitizes 
us so that we passively surrender to 
tacit compliance in servitude.

Dear Woman,
You are too intense.

Too intense for a system that doesn't want you 
to pierce through a matrix of fear 
and realize that we are all one.

Dear Woman,
Yes, you are, we are, all of these things.

Too much, too sensitive, too powerful, too loud, 
too fat, too crazy, too intense, and so much more.

And if we continue to compare our feared hysteria 
with a system that is imploding in on itself 
because of a severe disconnection from the very life force 
that sparked and fuels it's existence, 
we will certainly implode right along with it. 

Allow yourself to BE everything that you fear. 

Because I imagine, if you are anything like me, you spent much of your adult life in active resistance and defiance of it's resistance in you.

You will not fit in. I assure you.

And thank fucking god. 

Because in a system drowning in its own designer sheeple complacency, it is the one's who are too much, that will indeed change the world.

So too much woman, I solute you, and ride with you on the sacred battle field of the collective human soul.

How Can I Make Sure Love Stays?

But if I do not control,
how can I make sure
that love stays?

And if I do not consistently
remind love of my presence,
how will it know I am here?

What if love forgets me?
What if love finds someone else...

more worthy,
more timely,
more beautiful?

"Oh my love", 
the Universe says...

I tell you now
that love is not 
what you think.

Love is not found
in a person
or a place.

Love cannot be taken away
nor can it disappear.

Love is always with you,
so there is no need to fear.

So soften your gaze my darling,
for love is the forrest through the trees.

So let go my love,
come back to your breath
and into your heart.

For I send you love
as the sun on your back
and in the air that you breathe.

I Love Being Desired By Men

I love being desired by a man.

I love it when he
is willing to risk
letting me feel
his longing.

For me.
For my body.
For my touch.

For the way
my aliveness
invites him 
to feel more.

And let me clarify
this does not mean
I don't have preference
for the way
a man's desire
is conveyed.

I want to feel you
embodied
in your desire.

In full approval,
connection,
full-throttled integration
of your desire.

Where the power of 
what you want
does not over-power
your ability
to be in composure
of all that you have
within you.

I love feeling
the artful penetration
of a man's
curiosity
and attention.

The way your energy
pierces the
field of
my awareness.

Oh yes love,
I feel you,
touching me
with your 
pristine,
palpable,
pulsing 
attention.

The way you
tease out
my turn on
with your patient
yet punctual
prowess and 
precision.

And it is
fucking 
delicious.

When you do
the work
of releasing shame,
of connecting to
your heart,
of prioritizing
attunement
over agenda.

Oh my fucking goddess,
what a delicious dance
our intimacy,
our alchemy,
can be.

With Love,
Arielle Brown

ATTUNE: A 7-Week Online Erotic Alchemy Container for Men...is birthing into form. Open to 6 men. Beginning the first week in November 2019. There are only a few spots left. Email arielle@ariellebrown.com to learn more. 

ATTUNE: Erotic Alchemy Container for Men

Hello Men,

I've been having some honest, powerful, and deliciously heart-provoking conversations with many of you lately about your desires. 

I've been curious and asking what skills, abilities, and experiences you desire to cultivate when it comes to intimacy, love, sex, and women...

...And when it comes to your relationship with yourself, your power, and how you show up as a man, a leader, and sexual being in the world.

I have such a deep appreciation for you (men) in this life. The ways you love me, touch me, hold me, see me, taste me, support me, arouse me, trust me, invite me to surrender more into my softness.

I love you, more than you can imagine, and in turn I love being in service to you (and us) in ways are mutually nourishing, expansive, and arousing.

As I've spoken with you, here are some of the common threads I've found as core desires:

🌹👑The ability to attune to the subtle energies that exist between you and a woman of interest so that you can find and initiate the resonant form of pleasurable connection. 

🌹👑The ability to connect with and communicate how you feel in the moment, and stay grounded in yourself as you open to the powerful and unpredictable waves of a woman's experience.

🌹👑 The ability to set clear boundaries and create a safe container to express yourself authentically and vulnerably with women.

🌹👑 To be able to fully embody and express your erotic desires and sexual energy without feeling shame or fearing you'll cause harm.

🌹👑 The ability to cultivate a more energetic and masterful approach in your sex that allows you to enrich your connection, let go of performance, and prolong your erotic experiences.

🌹👑 The ability to artfully penetrate a woman with your awareness, curiosity, and desire ~ lovingly inviting her outside of her "control zone" just enough to invite her into that beautiful and delicious place of surrender that has you both longing for more.

I know you desire to engage in powerful, connected, co-creative relationship with women who are embodied in their pleasure, their voice, and their desire. 

With women who have cultivated a healthy relationship balance with their own masculine and feminine energies so that you don't always need to be the one "in control". 

I want you to know that this responsibility isn’t for you alone to hold.

Women have our own work to do to meet you in ways that blow our minds, heart, and bodies into a realm of blissful connection that will invite us as a collective into an entirely new realm of consciousness and community.

There is a level of attunement, embodiment, and connection that is possible in our relationships beyond anything society has taught us to believe is possible.

And my greatest pleasure, is in serving as a bliss bridge for this new paradigm of relating.

I am feeling guided to create a virtual group container for men who desire to cultivate and deepen into the embodiment I described above. 

However, before I create this offering, I want for you, the men reading this, to let me know if you have DESIRE for this.

I have a deep care for my energy, and want to ensure that my attention is only channeled towards that where there is desire, turn-on, and receptivity.

So, men, is a container that you want?

It would be a 6-week online container of a highly alchemical, erotic, and attuned nature. I hesitate in saying it's a "course", because this is not your conventional online course experience. 

Limited to 6 men, to ensure intimacy and high level of individual attention.

This is not a "beginner level” course. But more a curated experience for men who feel called to be a part of shifting humanity into its next level and embodiment of consciousness, through curating how we engage in intimate connection, communion and communication with women.

I would love to create this space for you, and my clear request for you is that if you have a desire to be a part of this type of container, to send me a private message on Facebook and let me know.

If there is enough interest, I will indeed create this container, and invite you in to play with in this erotic alchemical sandbox of higher relating. Most likely to begin in late October.

I would love to play with you. Are you ready for me?

Photo credit: https://pin.it/kbaehq2eeoboug

On Being Someone's Villain

I hope that one day you get to be someone's villain.

A few years ago, I was drinking tea with a teacher of mine, and I was telling her about an experience I'd had with a coach where I'd felt taken advantage of and manipulated.

I had felt disempowered by this woman, and in the eruption of our coaching relationship, lost a lot of self-confidence, and fell into a 6-month shame spiral.

I couldn't even let myself work with clients for a while because I was in such deep self-doubt about how I could have allowed myself to get into a situation where I wasn't in my power.

My teacher, looked at me, smiled, and said, "What a gift this woman gave you. I hope one day you'll be able to be a villain for someone else".

Her love for this woman, and desire for my own seeming defamation of character (by my own ego's standards of morality), blew my mind.

Through her words, I was able to realize how much of my power, intuition, creative impulse, and willingness to follow the spark of life, was being suppressed by my own fear of "causing harm". Of being wrong.

This is how we are taught to fear our own power.

We are taught to believe that other people are fragile beings, and that we must censor the truth that wishes to flow through us, because it might be more than another person can handle.

This doesn't mean that this gives us "permission" to intentionally cause harm or sadistically fuck with people. 

If that's your thing, then go for it. 

There is no right and wrong (as I mentioned), but there is vibration, like does attract like, and most likely your venom will come back around to bite you at some point in perfect timing.

What I'm instead speaking to here is that you cannot actually "do" anything to a person without their permission. Short of tying someone up, putting a gun to their head, or blackmailing them into doing your bidding...

You cannot violate someone in less they give you permission, which means, at a deeper level, they are violating themselves.

This is a time for us as a collective, AND, in many ways more importantly, as individuals to choose to embody our power.

It is a time to remember that another person's truth does not need to become our doctrine, simply because they speak it with conviction or a sparkly flair.

Whenever I enter into a new coaching container with a client, one of the first things I say to them is that I am going to let my impulse, my truth, and my power flow through me directly into you.

I am not attached to being right, but I am devoted to allowing that which feels true in the moment to flow through me, because I trust that even if my insight is "off", me being off is actually what is in service of you claiming in that moment that you know yourself better than I do!

As a result, it is *essential* that the person I’m working with is willing to advocate for them self in the moment when something doesn’t land for them. It’s part of the alchemy of the container—dismantling imbalanced power dynamics that do not longer serve their liberation and expansion. 

Everything is an opportunity for growth, for deeper intimacy with self, with other, with that universal energy that connects us all.

Every interaction with every human being is a divine opportunity to step more powerfully and vulnerably into the deep remembrance of who we truly are.

So I invite you, to allow yourself to be the villain in another person's reality. Allow yourself to say the thing that may just cause a cataclysm significant enough to beckon this person into truly facing themselves.

It is a gift. And I thank you in advance, for the reminder.

With Love,

Arielle Brown

Maleficent fan art by Amanda-Kihlstrom on @DeviantArt

To the Women Who Have Sex with Men

To the women who receive men's erections inside of them...

If you knew your body was an expression of Mother Earth, how would that shift the way you receive a man inside you?

I know, for myself, I spent so much of my young adult life, my early "sexual career" so to speak, allowing men to penetrate me before my body was ready to receive them.

I was afraid to say no.
I was afraid to prioritize and listen to the wisdom of my body.
I was afraid that if I "made things complicated", if I slowed things down too much, that he would become frustrated, turned off, disinterested.

So instead, I allowed myself to be penetrated without my body's full yes--before she was ready to fully receive a man's erection.

I didn't value myself. I didn't value the wisdom that existed deep within me, that if I had prioritized the messages of my body, I could have invited the man I was with into a deeper relationship not only with me, but with himself.

Man doesn't know, you see. He does not have our body, he does not have a womb. He is not attuned to the Feminine mysteries in the ways that we as women are.

So I ask you again, if you knew your body was an expression of Mother Earth, how would that shift the way you receive a man inside you?

Because our Mother Earth is being violated right now, you see. She is being penetrated without consent. Her soil is dry, and yet man-made constructions are penetrating her none the less.

They are not asking her permission, they are not attuning with the willingness and receptiveness of her body. They are simply taking.

And they do not understand, you see. They are not attuned to the rhythms of the earth as we are. We must teach them. We must remind them of who they are, of what they are doing.

And we can teach them through the vessel of our bodies, for we are the womb. We are the womb of mother earth.

Every time you invite a man to slow down his thrusts. Every time you invite a man to go slower, to dial in his sensitivity, to attune to the energy and readiness you are or aren't emitting...you are being of service to Mother Earth.

Mother Earth needs you, not just to care for her, but to care for yourself. Because if you do not value yourself, your body, your womb, then how can you care for her? Because you are an expression of her!

This does not mean that you must carry the weight for men, it simply means that you must find your voice in the places where you have gone silent.

It means you must check back in to your body, even though it has seemed safer and more comfortable to check out.

It means that you must remember that power, wisdom, and medicine that exists in your body, in your soul, in your sex.

Society told us that men had the answers, and I tell you right now that men cannot thrive without women. The Masculine cannot thrive without the Feminine.

It is time to rise from princess to queen, take up our rightful places on our thrones, so we can help our princes become kings. We serve each other. It is the only way.

To Live with an Open Heart

To live with an open heart, inevitably means to risk a broken heart. 

It comes with the territory of being alive. 

And please allow me to clarify, that there is a difference, between merely existing, and being truly ALIVE.

To merely exist, is to be a passive observer, a tacit complier, to a culture built on fear, control, and the false belief that it is not safe to trust.

To merely exist, is to allow our hearts to become calcified, jaded, and numbed as a natural by-product of undesirable yet seemingly unchangeable circumstances.

To merely exist, is to allow our soul to go into hiding, to calculate the opening of our heart like a chess move--only risking making ourselves vulnerable if we can guarantee the upper hand.

This is not living, this is purgatory. It is a life worse than death, because at least in death, we are free.

To be truly alive, on the other hand, means to opt into this body, this heart, this moment, this life, right now.

To be truly alive, means to lead with the raw, messy, inconvenient, infinitely endearing truth--that lays us out naked and vulnerable for the universe to have its way with.

To be truly alive, means to be so indelibly connected to our heart, our value, our soul, that we know nothing can be taken from us that is not freely given.

We are safe, you see, we are infinitely safe, beyond anything that your mind, your ego, or your insecurity could begin to fathom.

Your heart, you see my darling, is an infinite resource, and to hide her from the world, to make her a scarce commodity, is to deprive the world of something it is in dire need of.

Love. The world needs your love.

It needs your love unadulterated, unfiltered, unencumbered by fears of being "too much", "not enough", or "unworthy of being received".

The world needs your heart open, and yes, to open your heart, does mean that you exponentially increase its risk of being broken.

But let me tell you my dear, a broken heart, is not what you think.

It is a gift, you see. Because in the breaking of your heart, you shatter the calcified walls of fear and retraction. You break apart the avoidance of feeling, of breathing, of claiming your aliveness.

In the breaking of your heart, you open yourself to a love beyond what you can possible imagine. A love of this life that goes beyond anything our human mind could comprehend.

This is a love that connects us to all things. This love shatters fear, it shatters story, it shatters illusion.

This love, is simply truth. And it is waiting for you. 

Waiting for you to remember that your love does need permission or validation to be fully expressed. It gets to exist right now, without expectation or agenda.

Your love just gets to be here.

And oh my love, can you imagine, if we had a world full of hearts, courageous enough to be open, and willing to be broken?

Can you imagine, what a world, that would be?

The Alchemy of Relationship

There is alchemy available to us through our intimate relationships. When we bring our desires, our intentions, and the awareness of the places where we can still grow and become more free in our lives into the crucible of our relationship--great transformation is possible.

Relationship IS a crucible. It is a place where that which was seemingly forged solid in our younger years--our patterns, our neurosis, the places where we compromise for fear of our own unworthiness--can melt in the fires of awareness.

It is an invitation of devotion--devotion to truth, to authenticity, to finding pleasure and even ecstasy in the fire of discomfort and vulnerability.

Safety is essential here. Trust is essential here. Love and appreciation is essential here. In order to create this container of alchemy and transformation, we must become allies with our partner(s).

We must see God in each other, and be willing to choose being CONNECTED over being RIGHT, over and over again.

It is magic in this place of connection where time and space seem not to apply. Where the world that exists outside the container of our awareness and devotion becomes an embodied expression of our intentional desire.

This is embracing relationship as a path towards awakening. It is a path that is equally challenging as it is deeply rewarding, and the world as you know it, without doubt, will irrevocably transform before you eyes.

The only roadmap that exists for this path, is the one that exists within you.

Sexuality is an Ancient Technology

I see sexuality as an ancient technology. The more I consciously traverse through spaces of deep eroticism, both within myself and with another person, the more I discover that sex it is not about an end goal of climax.

It is instead a container of energetic potential that we create together, through an interplay of magnetism and repulsion. When we are able to remain present and hold this energetic space, without collapsing into the desire to merge as One, or getting blown out by the intensity of the sensation, we can create things.

Our sexual energy is our creative potential. When we combine thought, with intention, and fuel it with the propulsive energy of desire and orgasmic energy--that is the makings of Life.

We can create babes through sex, and so we can also create worlds. We can birth future realities through holding a collective vision as we consciously and connectedly love-make it into existence.

And it requires presence, ownership, a claiming, a deep realization of our ability to CHOOSE our reality. Our voice, our truth, our focus, has impact.

This is an invitation to come into a new and profound level of presence.

It is an invitation to enter into a deep embodiment of our creative potential--of our creator consciousness. It is a destigmatization of pleasure of the most high and sacred order.

I am the student. I am the teacher.

I am the game-maker. I am the game-player.

The Energetics of Intimacy

A few evenings ago, a lover of mine came over for a sex date. We have been seeing each other for about 4 years now. He is married to a beautiful woman with whom I have a wonderful connection, and our relationship is such that he and I see each other in an erotic capacity 2-3 times per month.

Lately, I have been cultivating different energetic and presence practices in my sex. Bringing more awareness to the way I circulate energy through my body during heightened states of arousal and sexual pleasure, with the intention to deepen my ability to influence my reality.

What I love about this lover, is the depth of his ability to feel and communicate his experience of energy and female orgasm. One of my favorite parts of our sexual containers together is the way we speak about our shared experience together after we both feel complete.

The way he describes what he feels in my body, in terms of emotions, sensations, and visual elements that occur in his mind's eye astounds me.

Every time when we are together, he speaks to something he felt in my body, in my orgasm, that directly correlates to a process or experience I am going through in my life, that he literally knows nothing about.

It is an incredibly powerful relationship and field of energy that he and I create when we are together. Part of the reason I believe it to be so powerful is that because of the fact that he is married, any of the stories that might arise about "what we could be" get dismantled, because there is no part of me that is pulling for him to be "my one".

A big part of what I perceive to be the downfall in so many intimate/sexual relationships is how we let our attachment to a certain story line (aahhheemm, prince and princess riding off into the sunset together, thanks Disney) influence the level presence, authenticity, unattached curiosity we bring into our connections.

Through our relationship, I am able to cultivate myself as a lover who can experience deep intimacy and pleasure with a man, without needing to automatically place him into the category as "boyfriend", "partner", etc--which for many of us, comes with its own set of expectations that often cause unnecessary suffering and manipulation.

Of course, in order to access this level of freedom and intimacy in our relationships, it requires a deep level of self-awareness of what we actually desire beneath societal conditioning, and a willingness to let go of personal narratives that keep us trapped in a limited concept of what relationship is "supposed" to look like, and who we must be in order to "make our relationships work".

The Place Between Fear and Desire

There are these moments, you see, where we realize the very thing we've been pining for, through raucous rants or silent soliloquies, are actually the things we've been pushing away with an ardent and steadfast devotion.

Why? Because to have this thing, this person, this experience, that our conscious mind believes we desire, would necessitate a complete evolution of self. A supreme letting go of an identity, a pattern, a belief system that has housed us in the illusive safety of what is familiar, of what is known.

Once we realize this, "getting what we want" becomes less an act of external force or acquisition, and instead a process of deep inner exploration and allowance, for us to receive the thing that we already embody.

It is an uncovering, a remembering, that in the space between what we desire and what we fear, we are able to discover who we truly are.

Everything thing blooms from this place. Relationship. Prosperity. Clarity. Fulfillment. The question is, are you willing?

I'm currently taking on new private coaching clients who want to redefine and re-align their experience of relationship and reality.

An intentional dismantling of root structures not aligned with your true self, and an artful recalibrating of expression so that the manifestation of your life and relationships is nothing short of a reflection of your essence.

Are you ready for something entirely new, and willing to invest in the cultivation of your authentic self, and in-so-doing reap rewards and revelations beyond what you can currently imagine?

If so, schedule a time for us to hop on a call together to have a non-pressured, yet deeply present conversational exploration. The link to schedule is in the comments below. I look forward to connecting with you.

What I'm Learning About Me...

maybe you don't know 
who you are 
to me 

but ever since you 
came into my life 
you see

colors are brighter
and I've realized
I'm a writer 

of prose
I suppose

that serve
as a reminder

that pain is poetry
yet to be expressed

and longing
is love
just waiting
to be undressed

by hands that 
i've licked 
like honey
from the pot

so my dear
i must be honest
i've be learning
quite a lot

about what 
i am
and what 
i am not

and yes i know
i am skilled
at throwing you
off the spot

so let me be honest

just one truth
from you to me

my soul has been 
through a battle

freshly
unearthed
from the debris

so please do not
try to control me

as you love me
passionately

i am a woman
of devotion

look into my eyes
and you will see

that i can love you
like no other

but to do so
i must be free.

🌹🌹🌹

A poem to the men who truly want to love women without caging or stripping them of their raw and wild power. We are discovering ourselves, as we discover how to be in relationship to you. 

Please, love us in our process, slow down, and let us learn to trust in the safety of your arms in our own time. 

We hold a key to your nourishment, to your satiety, that we so deeply desire to share, but we cannot give it if it means sacrificing our truth or our soul.

We women are learning, and we know you are too. Please, slow down, find intimacy and pleasure in the space between touch, so we can find resonance, and learn in connection with you.

Thank you. I love you.

Arielle Brown

A Glimpse into Conscious Kink

This past weekend, I engaged in an erotic immersion of heart and body with a lover. We got to spend three solid days of undivided time with each other, exploring our love, our desires, and our arousal.

He is significantly older than me (a fact that we love teasing each other about), and our chemistry is palpable, and deliciously so.

Throughout the course of our relationship, which has been on and off again for the past year, we have seductively joked and jibed about daddy daughter play.

This has always been a place of turn-on and arousal for me, and while I love getting off on it in theory, there has also been something incredibly confronting about the idea of truly bringing it into my sexual experience.

The thing that I’ve always felt about any type of kink or role play, is that often it can feel like just that — playing a role — and I’m only really interested in playing if I truly feel that I can drop into the embodiment of the desired archetype, as if it truly were real.

Same with dom-sub play. I don’t want to “act” like I’m being a sub…I want to be so bought into the dynamic between my play partner and I, so devoted to and captivated by the energy between us, that my being can fully immerse in the experience.

That’s where the turn on is — and anything less than that, I’m not interested.

So we were at the aquarium yesterday, flirting, making out in dark corners amidst otters and jellyfish, teasing about he being my daddy, and I being his daughter.

Each of us getting closer to bringing this story into the bedroom, me feeling the aliveness of it in my body.

So this morning, upon waking up, I could feel the desire arising in my body as I slowly caressed his body with my hand, feeling his erection and arousal engage against my thigh.

I felt myself choosing to opt into my desire, to taking the lead, to taking command of what I wanted, climbing on top of him, inviting him to touch me with his full presence and devotion.

He began to stroke me, gently with his finger, pressing into my luscious wetness or pressing forehead against his, with my head turned slightly to the right.

As I writhed rhythmically against his regal touch, I conjured my willingness and whispered in his ear, “yes daddy, please touch me just like that”.

I could immediately feel his body electrify and engorge with a new level of awareness and and lean in. Yes please, more of this.

He whispered back to me, with pulsing breath, “you’re being such a good little girl”.

Mmmmmm, yes, this place, more of this place please.

There is a deep surrender in allowing myself to be a man’s “little girl”. In a world where women can fight so ferociously for their definition of equality, their right to independence with men….

…it can seem really fucking ironic to not only allow myself to be objectified, but to request and be turned on by it from a full-bodied empowered place.

And the truth is, I can only really do it with a man who I know worships the ground I walk upon. I can’t give myself to a man who doesn’t know the gift I am to have me in the way that he does.

It has taken me a very long time, to learn just how deeply I must be devoted to myself, in order to surrender my body to someone else.

And I am still learning, everyday — I am just graced and blessed to have men in my life who remind me of how much I am worthy of, for those moments where it can be easy or convenient to forget.

I often say to men, when we are talking of my particular flavor of arousal…”Once I know that you truly respect me, then I will beg you to objectify the fuck out of me”.

There is a fine line between surrender and self-abandonment, and the defining feature I find is whether or not my primary commitment is to my own heart and truth, or to gaining the love and approval of another.

I am finding myself in a level personal mastery, which is a constant evolution in process, a game that will never end, with more work always to do….

…that I know myself enough play to consciously in the realms of taboo, because there is something in there that is for me. There is something in their that nourishes me deeply.

And ironically, somehow, in allowing myself to surrender into the role of another person’s little girl, I can feel myself more connected to my embodied woman, more than ever before.

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Sometimes Love Means Saying No

It is always possible to love. We just need to redefine what love means.

I can love someone, even if I don’t like them.
I can love some one, even if I feel attacked by them.
I can love someone, even if I have no idea who they are.

Love is a willingness to acknowledge that we are all human, all facing our own challenges, fears, and conditionings to the best of our abilities…

…and even if we do not agree with this person’s way of navigating the challenges of life, we can still hold in our heart that this person is our kin, and that ultimately the only way out of these challenging times we find ourselves in is through love.

To love someone does not mean that we need to save them, or tolerate being treated in ways that have us feel disrespected or unseen.

In fact, love can often mean setting clear boundaries that create a container for how you are willing to receive connection from a person so that you can truly love them.

Sometimes love means space.

Sometimes love means saying the hard thing.

Sometimes love means saying no.

And sometimes people won’t understand, and instead will be governed by previous conditionings of what they were told love is — which is often just a form of control rooted in fear.

To love, we must be willing to stand for our hearts, and know that the ability to love any other being begins with loving ourself.

And if we sacrifice our needs and safety in order to satisfy a hungry ghost who keeps asking for a cup to be filled that has no bottom — that isn’t love, that is just self-abandonment rooted in fear of love being scarce or never having enough.

And you may be wondering…

But if I’m saying no, if I’m pulling away, if I’m open to receiving less than I was a yes to before, how can I know this is love, and not just avoidance?

My answer to you, is that you will feel it in your heart. You will feel the beautiful heartbreak and sweet mourning of letting go of conditionings that have held you prisoner for so long.

You will know it’s love because you are able to feel compassion for this person even if they are throwing venom at you.

You will know it’s love because you will feel a softness and tenderness if your being — a sweet and unique relaxation signifying that your soul is beginning to find it’s voice.

We are alive, we are here, and we are worthy of so much more than this system gives us permission for.

Give into your heart. It is calling to you to come home.

About the Author:

Arielle is an Intimacy Coach & Workshop Facilitator, with a passion for supporting visionaries and change-makers in crafting containers for their relationships that can grow evolve as they do. Her coaching and community workshops focus on creating empowered and heart-centered approaches to verbal and energetic communication that prioritize transparency of desires, boundaries, and edges for spiritual growth. Learn more about her work at www.ariellebrown.com.

On Boundaries and Receiving

It may seem counter-intuitive, but if you find yourself struggling with receiving in your life — in the forms of receiving love, pleasure, or money, for example — it often means you need to instill stronger boundaries in your life.

Ironic, right? So many of us fear that in setting boundaries, we risk pushing away what we want and making it MORE difficult to receive our desires.

However, it is actually through the cultivation of clear boundaries that we are able to cultivate discernment within our emotional-energetic system, and as a result create more self-trust.

Self-trust is ESSENTIAL when it comes to receiving. If we don’t inherently trust ourselves to be clear on what we are a YES or NO to, what winds up happening is our unconscious and subconscious self cultivate energetic boundaries and belief systems that repel the things we desire.

Think about it — if a person has experienced sexual trauma in the past, or had experienced the feeling of sacrificing their soul for the all-mighty dollar, for example, there can become a deeply ingrained fear “that if ‘x’ then ‘y’ in all circumstances.

If I open up to receiving sexual pleasure I might be violated…

If I receive large sums of money I might experience a deep emptiness and dissatisfaction…

If we haven’t yet done the work to cultivate clear boundaries within ourselves (which I define as creating alignment between our inner truths and outer experience) our unconscious/subconscious self can wind up creating a “no-access shield” to ANYTHING associated with previous trauma or suffering.

Cultivating boundaries allows us to discern on a moment to moment basis what “feels good” to us and what does not. Cultivating boundaries also goes hand in hand with learning how to remain in our bodies during high-sensation interactions, so that we can clearly speak our truths in the present moment.

This is a big part of the private coaching work I do with people, and a big part of the work we explore in SOVEREIGNTY, an 8-week embodiment container for women.

Once we cultivate boundaries, our Inner Self is able to relax the “no access shield” and become more permeable to receiving pleasure, love, money in aligned forms. We are then able to act and choose on a case by case basis what we allow ourselves to receive, as opposed to unconsciously repelling everything associated with previous pain or suffering.

This is how we create alignment in our beings. The is how we become magnets for the relationships, pleasure, experiences and prosperity that is most aligned with our truths and desires.

It is powerful work, and it inevitably transforms every area of our life.

About the Author:

Arielle Brown is a coach and facilitator with a focus on embodied intelligence and transparent communication skills. She offers comprehensive experiential learning through immersive private coaching, online courses, and workshops/retreats focused on intimacy and emergent leadership. Her work with individuals, couples, and organizations helps to disrupt the patterns and belief systems that block the actualization of greater visions and desires. You can learn more about her work at www.ariellebrown.com.

On Sex and Sovereignty

How do we connect deeply with another human being without sacrificing who we are in order to make the “relationship work”, or conform to some standard of what we’ve been told relationship needs to look like?

I was just sitting with a girlfriend, and she was describing how in her partnership, both she and her partner have agreed to not go in and “save” each other.

They trust each other to take care of themselves, and not collapse into a merged identity of saving and co-dependence, simply because that what’s romance is “supposed to look like”.

She was also saying that their relationship triggers a lot of their friends, namely because of the level of freedom each partner has to do what they want to do, go where they want to go, without needing permission or approval from the other person.

My experience is that along with the fear of losing love, there can be an intense desire to control the actions of the person (or persons) we are in relationship with, because certain actions could threaten our sense of safety and identity in the relationship.

This isn’t to say that we as partners shouldn’t care or be aware of our impact on our partners, however, I see a trend where it seems most romantic relationships are playing out some “Victim — Savior — Perpetrator” dynamic from the “Drama Triangle”.

And here’s the thing, it isn’t “our fault”. We’ve been conditioned by society, by reality TV, by porn, by Disney into what our relationships (especially between a man and a woman in a sexually intimate relationship should look like).

I feel a big part of our “work” right now is looking at where we as individuals are still playing into conditioned cultural relationship dynamic where we are literally taught to give our power away.

For myself, much of this has been looking at where I’ve been attached to feeling like a victim in relationship with men, looking at where I still want to be saved, and looking at where I have manipulated through sex appeal and wit to get what I want.

That’s a big part of why I’m choosing to engage in 6 moon cycles of no penetrative sex (meaning no penis inside of me for 6 moon cycles).

It’s allowing me to remove a part of the equation (the desire for or agenda towards sex) that can subconsciously or unconsciously motivate me to give my power away, or try to take power from the man I’m in connection with.

I don’t want to control anyone, and I don’t want to be controlled. I want all of my relationships, especially the relationships where deep intimacy and sexually intimacy may exist, to be ones where I am showing up in my sovereignty, and creating space for the other person to do the same.

After all, how are we supposed to create deep healing and connection in our communities if we are all walking around subconsciously sexualizing each other and pushing an agenda for sex or emotional commitment?

Strong communities begin with strong individual relationships, which means looking at how we contribute to agency and empowerment in our individual connections.

Our relationships are meant to be deeply pleasurable, fulfilling, and expansive. We are meant to feel nourished. We are meant to feel free. We are meant to feel seen and loved and deeply cared for.

And it begins with us being honest about the places where we would rather be in control than in connection, and the places where we would rather feel comfortable than feel truly alive.

Let us play in this game of expansion and sovereign relating together. We can always find a bigger sandbox in which to play.

I Am Touching Myself to the Thought of You

I am touching myself
to the thought of you
this morning.

And that terrifies me
because it is my heart
not just my sex
that you are touching
within me.

How the hell
can I be strong,
empowered,
standing for all that is wrong
about being a woman
in a man's world?

While simultaneously
wanting nothing more
than to be soft
and vulnerable
in your arms
in your gaze
in your love.

Fuck you.

And yes
I know it's not you
but it's what you represent
to me, a woman
who has been fighting
an inner battle
just to prove to herself
she is worth
the same value
the same recognition
the same respect
as a man.

It isn't easy
to admit these thoughts
still exist within me,

but they do
and you need to know
because I am seriously considering
letting you
be a man
who helps me remember
this doesn't need
to be true.

I love you
and it's terrifying
but I'm willing
to give up my game
of all the ways
that I hide
manipulate
and push away
to you.

A New Approach to Intimacy

I hear a knock on the door, and I smile. I know who it is, and I am happy he is here.

I've been preparing for his visit, intentionally arranging my space. Lighting candles, burning incense, playing music I love, moving my body to its beat.

I feel the aliveness in my body as I walk to do the door, feeling gratitude for an answer to the anticipation that has been cultivating.

I turn the door knob, slowly pull it open, to reveal a man on the other side of it who knows how to attune to my body, my sensitivity, and my emotional intelligence.

We look at each other and smile, this kind of smile that alludes to a unique history, a mutual knowing, and a pleasurable curiosity of the particular chemistry of our connection.

We are deeply intimate, yet clearly contained. We are rich in chemistry, yet clear on the boundaries of our connection. It is a relationship unlike any I have ever experienced, and I am so grateful for its presence and medicine in my life.

He facilitates intimacy and healing work with women. I facilitate intimacy and healing work with men. We each creates spaces for people of the opposite sex to experience a level of surrender and vulnerability that allows them to connect with themselves and fall more deeply in love with who they truly are.

It was a divine synchronicity that our paths crossed as they did, and as we deepened into exploring the nature of our connection, it became clear to each of us that there was an opportunity to create an intentional container for our relating in which we could:

1) Create a collaborative relationship to cultivate our professional skills in the art of facilitating deeply intimate healing spaces for the opposite sex to transform and grow within, through practicing with each other.

2) Create a personal relationship with each other where we could relate deeply and explore loving connection, sensual touch, and vulnerable communication without defaulting into a conventional relationship or romantic attachment.

Each time we came together, there was some form of intention, some type of discussion of the container, and what the purpose or desire for our connection was.

There was something deeply healing here for me. To be able to cultivate deep intimacy with a man I had immense attraction to and emotional chemistry with, and hold a container so clear and solid with him that the devotion to presence, attunement to the resonant action, and care for each others freedom, growth and happiness outweighed any desire for projection-based gratification.

We had shared several meetings together of this nature before this particular day when he arrived, and when our eyes met, I could feel the awareness of everything I have shared with you above, as an unspoken exchange of acknowledgment between our energetic beings before he walked in the door.

As he walked in to the space, I walked towards the tea kettle to begin boiling some water. He had brought a sacred tea set with him--as he had expressed a desire to create a tea ceremony for us. I loved the feeling of this intention.

The agreements for our relationship container were such that, unless we specifically spoke otherwise, there would be no mouth to mouth kissing, and we had never actually exchanged genital to genital contact, nor had other of our mouths touched each others genitals.

While we had shared different forms of genital touch with each other, these exchanges occurred in clear containers, where one was deliberately receiving, while the other was offering. There was something beautiful about this container that allowed me to feel turn-on in the subtlest of experiences.

I loved the feeling of safety my body felt in his presence. There was such a tenderness in our touch with each other. Such an awareness and devotion to sensitivity and energetic connection. The clear boundaries allowed for an evocation of our senses that, had penetrative sex been immediately on the table, we may have never been able to access with each other.

The water boiled, and as he prepared the setup for his tea ceremony on the oriental rug on the floor, I carried over the water with intentional presence, aware of my every moment as if in ritual. This was my ritual. Intimacy is my ritual.

I sat down, handed him the kettle, and he pour water into the abundant tea pot, overflowing gently as leaves of jasmine peaked above the rim. I loved his appreciation of subtly. His reverence for the delicacy of tea spoke to his reverence for the sacredness of touch.

Together we talked over tea. Sharing our experiences of connection with other women and men in our lives. The things we were learning through the connections, about how we want to love, about how we want to live, and about how to express and hold ourselves in such a way that we can intentionally create spaces that sustain those experiences.

In a moment of pause, he looked over at me and asked, "Would you like to come closer to me?" A pulse of earthy electricity coursed through my spine and into my pelvic floor.

"Yes", I said. I loved this question. I loved the feeling and simplicity of his request, creating such a clear invitation for connection in a particular way.

As I had been lying on my belly, I crawled over to his left side where he was sitting cross-legged on the ground. As I settled myself on the floor against his side, I placed the length of my arm along his thigh and knee, and began to kneed his calves and leg with my hand.

An unspoken mutually consensual invitation occurred for each of us as we began to massage and caress each others' bodies. He squeezing the flesh of my hips, the curve of my ass cheeks, a beautiful flow of energy, arousal and eros.

As I surrendered into the sensation of connection, I allowed the back of my body to organically arch up from the floor, rising to my knees, with the upper part of my body still pressed to the floor, presenting my bare lower body, beneath the purple dress I was wearing to adorn my skin.

He began a succession of fluttering spanks on my ass, my thighs, the inside of my legs. Not painful, just enlivening influx of sensation and awakening of my senses. I love how much my body trusted him, and trusted our container, knowing that it was totally safe for me to surrender to my desire, because we both had clarity of what our "yes" and what our "no" was.

As I deepens into heavier breathing and moans began to emerge from my mouth, he asked me if I would like to receive sensual touch and if he could enter me with his fingers. I said, "Yes, please, I would love that".

He always asked, and so did I. There was a genuine mutual respect and care for each others' bodies, knowing that no touch was assumed when it came to our genitals, and permission to enter was asked for first.

My body and heart had been getting aroused from the moment he walked through the door. One of the things we would often acknowledged to each other during the time we spent together, is how aroused we became in circumstances that had nothing to do with sex.

Because our relating was inherently intimate, with intention and clear boundaries around our connection, our mutual presence with each other was an inherent turn on, and I loved that.

So as he moved towards my flower, and gently touched the outer lips of my pussy, my body engorged into waves of deep, pulsing orgasms. That type of orgasm that you can feel deep in your body and soul, as if sourced the mother nature herself.

I allowed myself to fully surrender to my desire, my desire for pleasure, my desire to receive, my desire to climax, and my trust for him to hold the container of our experience together as I slipped consciously into my involuntary.

We had clear time containers for our meetings with each other. Knowing when our meeting together would end, we liked to have time towards the end for integration, for holding each other, for sharing or processing anything that needed to be spoken and released before we parted ways.

I loved this about our connection--that I could drop in so deeply, feel so seen, so safe, and so cared for, that I never actually needed to feel the anxiety of abandonment, rejection, or being taken advantage of.

We cared about each other, as human beings, as friends, as kin on the path of awakening through connection. And our agreement of those truths was deeper than any place where we could have defaulted into being ruled by anxiety or avoidance, rooted in the fear of being controlled, or the fear of losing love.

Our relationship is medicine. Our connection is magic.

And as we rode the wave of orgasmic presence and connection together, he tuning into the flow of my body, we found a place of resonant conclusion, leaving 15 minutes left in our container to cuddle, ground, and integrate our experience before we parted ways.

I allowed my body to rest fully unravelled upon the floor, us looking at each others eyes in another moment of acknowledging something difficult to describe yet impossible to ignore.

We laid together, integrating, appreciating, acknowledging, and as 2:30pm approached the clock, he rose up from our mutual resting place, gathered his things, and walked towards the door. He turned, we hugged, he moving towards the hallway with the door knob in his hand, smiled at me and spoke "Aloha". "Aloha", I shared in return.

The door closed, the container complete, and again, I smiled, feeling the beauty of how easy it was to say goodbye, trusting without doubt the solidity of our care and respect for each other.

Not worrying about when we would see eachother next, not worrying about "what the exchange meant", simple feeling gratitdue for the fact that it WAS, and that I was a better, happier, more fulfilled human being as a result of that individual experience. And that the beauty of our connection is simply a reflection of the love and abundance that innately exists within myself.

These are the relationships I choose to design. Ones rooted in mutual appreciation and respect for what is true in the now, redefining and exploring what it means to be in loving and resonant connection on a moment-to-moment basis, knowing that the deepest commitment I have is to the mutual experience of respect, compassion, and freedom to choose.

I am a woman on her path, attracting in resonant souls and remembered kin along the way, building a community of connection and trust. I am grateul. I am humbled. I am alive.

Photo by Hedi Alija on Unsplash

Am I Polyamorous? No, I'm Just Human.

Someone asked me if I'm polyamorous. I said no, I'm just human.

I'm pretty turned off by labels when it comes to romance and intimacy. In fact, even the word romance, in my opinion, often leads us down a rabbit hole of fitting into a box of "how we're supposed to be" in relationship.

I don't want boxes or expectations when it comes to relationship, because the truth is, we are constantly changing and evolving human beings, and as a result the way we relate changes as well.

What I am a yes to do, I may be a no to tomorrow, and what kind of a relationship would something be if I was required or expected to do something against my will, simply because I've wanted to do it in the past.

I'm interested in genuine connection, not self-abandonment.

This isn't me looking for an excuse to avoid intimacy.

In fact, most of the reason people want to spend time with me, and pay me for my perspective, attention, and the space I hold, is because of the depth of intimacy I can easily tap into with any person who is truly willing to know themselves, and in-so-doing, truly know me.

What is unique an amazing about the relationships I have with men (I say men in this case because I am, for the most part, heterosexual), is that they are constantly evolving and changing.

I have a man in my life where we used to be sexual, and now we have a deeply intimate yet non-sexual relationship where we are collaborating on community projects together.

I have man in my life where we share a form of sexual intimacy, yet there is no penetrative sex, and he has a primary partner.

I have a man in my life who lives an 8 hour drive away from me, yet because of a deeply profound connection together during a workshop, we find it mutually worth it and fulfilling to get to know each other over the phone and through energetics, even though there is no guarantee if/when we will see each other.

I have a man in my life who I practice intimacy and space holding within a collaborative/colleague container, as a means to cultivate and deepen and expand my skillset in the Immersive Intimacy Work I do with men.

None of us have any agreements or commitments to each other, other than total honesty, transparency, connection and respect for each other's freedom and happiness.

These are the types of relationships I want and choose. Relationships where each person trusts, loves, knows and respects themselves enough to stay in integrity with who they are, what they want, and what they need in every moment.

From this place, we each come in fully resourced, our cups full, not pulling for something outside of us that can only be truly accessed from within.

So no, I am not polyamorous, because in my opinion, polyamory (not matter how well intentioned it is), is just another label that creates an illusion of safety from being hurt, and creates a box that try to fit ourselves into so that we can feel like our relationships make sense.

Intimacy doesn't make sense, who we find deep connection with cannot be predicted, and love is not something that can be controlled.

In the end, there is no right, there is no wrong, there is only choice. And to be truly and freely at choice, means that we need to know who we are and what we want, which no label or how-to-guide can give us.

We are brilliant, unpredictable, constantly changing beings, who have a capacity to love beyond anything we can possibly imagine.

What if we stopped trying to control, stopped trying to label, and instead, allowed ourselves to wade out into the unknown waters of true, unadulterated intimacy and connection?

There is magic
in the unknown.

There is wisdom
in the exploration
of what is true.

And in the process
of discovering
what exists
between you
and another.

You may just find
that you
discover You.

I love you.