When I, as a woman, conceal my desires and don't express my boundaries in my intimate relationships with men, I perpetuate a culture of affirming men's inadequacy and inability to attune to the energy and truth of women.
When I, as a Jew, cling to the belief that I need to suffer and struggle in order to live a meaningful life, I perpetuate and affirm a culture that has us believe that happiness and success cannot simultaneously exist.
When I, as a lover, do not ask my partner to slow down, lighten his pressure, or any other adjustment I desire in the moment during sex, I am affirming and supporting an approach to sexuality that is built on obligation and disconnection, rather than inspiration, awareness and love.
When I, as a human, hide the wholeness of who I am in order to appease and make people around me "more comfortable", I affirm and support a culture that says it is not okay to live authentically.
I am a woman, I am Jew, I am a lover, I am a human...facing the courageous act every day of facing the sometimes seemingly insurmountable fear of being honest about who I am, what I want, what I need, and what I feel...while staying open in vulnerability, rather than closed, guarded, and protected in captivity.
I am not fearless. In fact, I am shaking in my bones, willing to be seen in the nakedness of my truth, knowing that I am not "right", I am just willing to be honest, and connectable in that vulnerable place where I have nothing left to hide, because I'm wearing my soul on my skin, and my heart on my sleeve.
I want to know my heart, when I am no longer ruled by the expectations and projections of others, because I spent so much of my life, becoming who men believed I should be.
Be less emotional, be less expressive, be less joyful, be more responsible, be more contained, be more docile. I had made a career out of becoming who I believed I needed to be so that the men in my life would love me.
And please men, who are reading this post, know that I love you, and do not blame you. It is in realizing the conditioning of my past, that I can be free to connect with love and trust in the present.
I am a woman, I am a Jew, I am a lover, I am a human...doing her best to heal the wounds of my gender and my labels, so that I can simply be a human, free of my past beliefs that I was different, isolated, and disconnected from the different genders, different races, different cultures around me.
I choose to heal my past beliefs of being not enough, being a victim, and being too much, so that I can show up in full service to my joy, my liberation, and consequently the joy and liberation of all those around me.
Connection to Self and connection to the whole are one in the same.
I am releasing the struggle for survival.
I am releasing the guilt for my aliveness.
I am releasing shame for my desire for more joy and pleasure.
I am releasing the belief that I need to isolate in order to succeed.
I am releasing the belief that I need to do anything other than exist in order to deserve peace, love, and happiness.
I am releasing all that does not serve me at this time in my life.
Thank you for witnessing me. May my words be kindling for the firing starting in your soul.
I love you.